


I Know

by faeryn



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Bunker Fic, Destiel - Freeform, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Season 9 Spoilers, Smut, Top!Cas, bottom!Dean, little bit of dom/sub, maybe a bit more than initially intended
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-07
Updated: 2014-01-10
Packaged: 2018-01-07 21:11:13
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 10,901
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1124436
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/faeryn/pseuds/faeryn
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>I don't even know, I'm terrible at summaries. Excerpt time! \o/</p><p>'He released one of Dean’s wrists and brought his hand to the back of the hunter’s head, kissing him roughly. Dean surprised them both by using his now-free hand to curl around Cas’ waist, drawing the man in the last few centimetres so their bodies were pressed together. Cas released his other wrist and threw his arm around Dean’s shoulders as if trying to pull him even closer and Dean added his other arm to Cas’ waist, hooking his thumbs in to the belt loops on the back of his jeans and splaying his fingers down over the curve of the angel’s backside.'</p><p>((P.S. I know it's inelegant but this is my favourite paragraph in the whole story <3))</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I literally suck at titles and tags, sorry. Please tell me if you think I should add/remove any! This is the first fic I've posted here and the first I've written in... literally years so forgive me. 
> 
> I had a load of awesome stuff written here but my computer ate it so all I will say is I hope you enjoy! Also I took a few liberties, it's fanfiction so I figured screw it *shrug* ;)
> 
> Also, I am English so sorry if I make any spelling errors or if I use the wrong terms for anything - TELL ME if you spot them! I need to learn <3

 

“Hello, Dean.”

 

Dean’s face was a blank mask and he didn’t turn at the flutter of feathers or the gravelly voice behind him. He simply stared into the flames of the pyre, watching the young man he had been supposed to protect burn into ash. A hunter’s funeral was the least Kevin deserved, but Dean knew he deserved life more. 

 

“Thanks for the assist, Cas,” he growled back eventually, hands and jaw clenching with the effort of containing his emotions, “could have really done with some angelic help back there. Kevin’s dead and it’s all,” Cas’ body tensed imperceptibly as he waited for Dean to place the blame on him, “my fault.” Dean’s voice cracked and he stopped speaking, trying to claw back the paper-thin hold he had on his feelings. 

 

“It was not your fault, Dean,” Castiel said eventually when it was clear Dean wasn’t going to start talking again. The fire crackled loudly and Cas took a step closer to the other man so he wouldn’t have to raise his voice. “I am sure you did everything you could to protect both Kevin and Sam.”

 

“No, I didn’t,” Dean’s voice was low, filled with grief, “I only did what I thought was right for Sam. I didn’t even think about Kevin, I just…” He took a deep breath and closed his eyes, wishing the vision of his brother pressing his hand to Kevin’s forehead would just go away. He bowed his head, unable to continue. He’d lost his brother to Ezekiel - or whoever he was - and now Kevin too. 

 

“You always blame yourself too much,” the angel sighed and moved forward again to put his hand on Dean’s shoulder in what he hoped was a gesture of comfort and solidarity. Dean tensed as Cas’ touch rested on the old scar from when he had been pulled out of hell, the skin tingling even through his many layers of clothing. “You need to learn to accept that there are some things beyond your control, powers at work that you cannot begin to comprehend.”

 

Dean whirled away with a derisive snort, smacking Cas’ hand away angrily as he rounded on the angel. “Don’t give me that angel crap, Cas, you weren’t here, you didn’t see what happened. Sam’s _gone_ and so’s Kevin and I was the one who put that angel in Sam’s body so don’t try to tell me this isn’t my fault!” Castiel stood calmly, allowing the hunter to vent his frustrations. “I just wanted to help my brother, I thought I was doing the right thing but that never works out for us does it?” He was shouting now, leaning closer in to Cas to scream in his face as if a primitive gesture of dominance would help him feel better or intimidate the angel. “We always screw it up, all of us, with the apocalypse and the angel war and closing hell and everything; what are we even here for!”

 

Castiel looked up at Dean standing over him, his eyebrows knit together with concern. Their faces were mere inches away and yet he felt somehow further from Dean than ever before. “If there is one thing I learned whilst human, Dean, it is that to exist is to feel pain. Pain from loss, pain from rejection, pain from your body just being so _needy_ … We may make mistakes, and I know I have made plenty Dean, but that doesn’t mean we shouldn’t _try._ It isn’t fair and it isn’t right and it sometimes hurts so much you don’t know how to go on, but you do nonetheless and in time things start to get better.” Cas fixed Dean with an icy glare, daring the taller man to interrupt but Dean was too shocked by the sudden outburst to consider it. “I cannot change what happened to Kevin, but we _will_ get Sam back, Dean, one way or another. As for what we are here for,” he shrugged and looked away, a surprisingly human gesture, “I have long since given up trying to figure that one out.”

 

They both fell silent, the only sound the crackling of the funeral pyre and the occasional whoosh as a log burned through and fell with a whump deeper into the embers. Neither man moved away, Cas staring at the ground a little to his left as he struggled with the turmoil inside him. One part of him felt for Dean and wanted to comfort his friend but another wanted to smack him upside the head and tell him to stop being a whiny little bitch. This wasn’t the first obstacle they had come up against nor did he expect it would be the last but they always seemed to overcome them one way or another and it pained him that Dean was having such a hard time seeing that. Dean, on the other hand, couldn’t wrench his eyes away from Castiel’s face, his eyes desperately seeking answers in every pore, every line on the angel’s face. He wondered exactly how much pain Cas had had to go through to develop this perception of humanity. 

 

“Who hurt you, Cas?” He mumbled thoughtlessly, not immediately realising he had spoken aloud until the angel’s gaze snapped up to meet his, blue eye boring into green with a sudden fury that made Dean jerk his head back as if Cas could burn his eyes out with just a glare. 

 

“Oh, let me see. First I have my Grace forcibly taken from me and am hurled to Earth as a human. Then the first angel I meet tries to kidnap me so she can take over my vessel and I’m forced to kill her. Then I have to keep running because it seems that everything and everyone is also trying to kill me. I am hungry for the first time, thirsty for the first time, I have no money and no idea what I’m doing. I have to steal and beg for everything and even then it’s never enough. The first woman I am intimate with turns out to be a Reaper who kills me - and she did kill me, didn’t she Dean? The angel possessing Sam brought me back, I should have seen it right away but I was hurt and just so glad to see my friends I took your word for it.” Castiel’s voice starts to rise in volume, his ire and the repressed emotions bubbling up as he vents his own frustrations now. “Then, just when I think I am finally safe and comfortable my best friend sends me away without so much as a by your leave. I finally manage to get a job and settle down, although I have to sleep in the stock room which was obviously a fantastic experience, and I think things are going really well when I get asked on a date but oh no I’m just a damn babysitter like always and I nearly get killed _again_. Then I try to help my friends out while still staying away because I just can’t bear being on my own any more and I get sent away _again_ even though I’m not doing anything wrong and finally I have to steal another angel’s Grace just so I can feel _useful_ even though it’s one of the most abhorrent acts I can think of. But please, ask me who hurt me Dean, it’s a truly delightful story.” 

 

Cas hadn’t moved an inch and Dean stood staring at him, half expecting the angel to vanish or throw a punch but he simply stood there glaring up at Dean with a mixture of rage and anguish in his eyes. “Cas… I’m sorry man,” he said quietly, he couldn’t think of anything else. 

 

“You’re always sorry, Dean,” Cas sighed heavily and his tone was bitter, “have you tried not being an assbutt in the first place instead?” 

 

Dean laughed, he actually laughed. There was nothing else he could do. Castiel usually used such formal language, it had only been recently he even added more contractions to his speech, so the use of the ridiculous curse was hilarious to the hunter. “Assbutt, oh man, Cas I haven’t heard that in ages…” It was like a flood gate had opened and Dean couldn’t stop laughing. Cas stood before him with his eyes narrowed and his head tilted to one side, trying so hard to stay angry with the man who had caused him so much pain but he knew he was fighting a losing battle. Before long a tiny smile twitched at the corners of his mouth and Dean clapped him on the shoulder, wiping tears of mirth from his eyes. 

 

“Glad to see you find me a source of amusement,” Cas remarked drily but he meant it affectionately. 

 

“Damn, I needed that,” Dean said, barely hearing the angel as he straightened up. “You’re right, we always work it out, we’ll do it together this time though okay?” He turned to the pyre and sighed. “I’m sorry I failed you buddy,” he said quietly, “but I can’t break down right now. If you’re in Heaven find Ash and party hard at the Roadhouse for me, okay?” 

 

They stood in silence watching the fire burn a little longer, the flames much smaller now as the wood slowly burned through. Dean left his hand on Castiel’s shoulder, the contact grounding him and reminding him he wasn’t alone - not yet. Eventually Cas spoke in a low, remorseful tone. “I’m sorry I shouted at you, Dean.” 

 

Dean shrugged and gave Cas a half smile. “I’m sorry I was an assbutt,” the smile broadened into a grin and Cas smiled back. For a moment, the briefest of heartbeats, Dean felt something spark inside him as he looked across at that shy little smile but it was gone in an instant leaving Dean curiously poking around in his own mind trying to work out what that was. 

 

“We should go inside,” Cas said eventually, breaking through Dean’s subconscious as he stepped out of the taller man’s grip, “even if we are both warded it is not safe to be out for too long right now.” 

 

Dean nodded mutely but before he could turn away to walk back to the bunker Cas had pressed two fingers to his forehead and in an instant Dean was back inside, standing just inside the doorway at the top of the stairs. There was little room up there and he was immediately acutely aware of how close Cas was and although his natural reaction was to scold Cas for not considering his personal space he also felt he owed it to the man to give him the benefit of the doubt for a while. “Thanks,” he choked out, “but my legs work just fine.”

 

“This was quicker,” Castiel shrugged again and Dean was mesmerised by the motion of the angel’s shoulders. 

 

The little human touches that he had picked up recently were so familiar and yet so alien, Dean wanted to see more and quickly moved away down the stairs, jogging to the bottom lightly on the balls of his feet so see what Cas would do. Would he follow him in the same way, walk down slowly or just teleport? When he reached the bottom of the staircase Dean looked up to see Cas watching him with a curious expression. “Well, are you coming in or what?” 

 

A heartbeat later Cas was beside him again, once more just a little closer than Dean was really used to, and the hunter felt a pang of disappointment that Cas had chosen to use his angel powers instead of just using the staircase. “I wasn’t sure if you would want me to,” he said quietly. 

 

Dean turned to face Castiel and put his hands on the other man’s arms, looking him square in the face. “I said we would do this together, Cas, and I mean it okay? I won’t send you away again.” 

 

Cas stared back at Dean, noting the sincerity in the hunter’s eyes and the strength of his grip on his arms. It would be so easy, he thought, to just believe Dean and to let the man lead him into whatever he needed, supporting him as he always had, coming when he called and doing whatever was asked of him. But this time was different. Dean didn’t realise just how deeply he had hurt Castiel by sending him away, and a little piece of Cas deep down inside was vengeful and wanted Dean to understand and, more importantly, to _pay_ for what he had done. But he truly didn’t want to hurt his friend, not really, so he was quickly devising a way to get what he wanted without destroying his friendship with the hunter. He held Dean’s gaze and let one corner of his mouth twitch up in a half smile that Dean quickly returned then, before he had a chance to react, Cas stepped forward, closing the distance between the two men until they were almost touching. 

 

Dean’s reaction was delayed by surprise, he hadn’t expected Cas to move so much closer to him so quickly and he realised he had underestimated the angel. He jerked his head back and broke the eye contact, flicking his eyes to stare intently at the map table in front of him. This turned out to be absolutely the worst thing he could have done, since it meant his attention was no longer on the smiling angel who took full advantage of Dean’s distraction and discomfort. Cas was a few inches shorter than Dean so when he tipped his head up his breath ghosted gently across the taller man’s throat sending chills down his spine. 

 

“Do you really think you could?” He murmured, barely audible in a tone that implied there was no right answer. 

 

The hunter’s heart fluttered in a mixture of fear and confusion. The last time he had heard Castiel’s voice sound so menacing he was possessed by Leviathan. He looked back at Cas, expecting to see the same maniacal expression but instead saw only amusement and perhaps a little mischief. Deciding that _this_ was too close, being able to feel the other man’s breath on his face was definitely too close, Dean began to back up and held his hands up in front of him as if hoping to hold Cas off with the gesture alone. Cas simply moved forward with him until Dean was backed up against the wall on the other side of the room and then edged even further forward until Dean’s palms rested lightly on his chest. 

 

“Cas, uh, personal space?” Dean tried, trying his best winsome smile but only really succeeding with ‘slightly nervous and a little uncomfortable’. 

 

“Yes,” the angel tilted his head on one side and his eyes slid away from Dean’s face thoughtfully, “it is rather personal isn’t it? I’ve never really understood your objection to my being in your personal space but I have always tried to honor it.” He made no attempt to move away but Dean felt the muscles in Cas’ chest shift under his palms as he lifted his own hands to Dean’s, the heat of the sudden skin contact causing his breath to catch in his throat as Castiel’s hands clamped down loosely on the hunter’s wrists. 

 

Dean’s head swam and his heart was hammering in his chest fit to burst. He had absolutely no idea what Cas was doing or why but it both frightened and excited him. He couldn’t remember ever being in a situation where he was so completely out of his depth that hadn’t also been potentially fatal so while he feared the lack of control he felt a thrill in the unknown. He knew he trusted Cas not to hurt him so he let the angel take control even though a small part of his mind was screaming at him to flee. Castiel watched Dean’s face intently, the mixture of emotions in those minute muscle twitches fascinating him. He could tell the moment Dean decided to trust in him without even invading his mind to do so and his smile took on a slightly predatory edge at the knowledge. 

 

Tightening his grip, Cas pulled Dean’s hands away from his chest and lifted them up until they were at the extent of his reach, Dean’s elbows still slightly crooked due to their height difference.

 

“Cas what are you-“ Dean began to say. This was not acceptable to the angel, who was enjoying his control far too much, so he closed the distance between them until their bodies were almost touching and then leaned in and pressed his lips to Dean’s to cut him off. 

 

Dean’s eyelids fluttered and then closed automatically before snapping open again when he remembered that this wasn’t some chick kissing him, this was _Cas_. He looked at the angel, whose iron grip on his wrists prevented him from pushing him away, and Cas looked back at him with a steady gaze. It was too unnerving to stare at the man while he was kissing him so Dean squeezed his eyes shut again, trying to form an image in his mind of a beautiful, lithe young woman. For a moment it worked and Dean almost gave in to the kiss until Cas shifted slightly, his stubble grazing Dean’s skin and the image of the woman vanished to be replaced wholly by Castiel. 

 

The kiss was broken but Cas didn’t move his face away from Dean’s, only far enough back that they were no longer touching. Dean’s breath came more quickly and as he panted he felt their chests touch slightly when they rhythm had them both inhaling at the same time. It felt odd… but not unpleasant. 

 

“What-“ he started to speak again and once more Cas cut him off with a kiss. Dean was surprised to find Cas’ lips were soft and then his mouth turned up in a smile as he realised that in order to be surprised by that fact he had to have at least thought about how the angel’s lips would feel to kiss. 

 

“Do you find something funny?” Castiel murmured, breaking the kiss and looking up at Dean with a curious expression. 

 

Dean shook his head and huffed a little laugh out, his breath tickling Cas’ face. “It’s just-“ he started but Cas cut him off for a third time, having never intended to allow Dean to speak. This time Dean had half expected the kiss and decided to up the ante - he was growing tired of being toyed with. Opening his mouth slightly he licked his own lips and, by extension, Cas’ as well and was rewarded with a sharp intake of breath from the angel. Taking advantage of his mouth suddenly being open Dean caught Cas’ lower lip between his teeth and grazed them gently before lashing out again with his tongue. 

 

He had no idea what Cas was up to but if he wanted to play this amorous game with Dean Winchester he had better bring his A game. Dean knew exactly what drove chicks wild and although he wasn’t sure if it would work on another guy he decided it was worth a try and was rewarded with the barest hint of a moan as he alternated between lapping at Cas’ lip and grazing his teeth over it. 

 

Castiel was rapidly losing control of the situation and surged forward to push his lips hard against Dean’s, ceasing the relentless assault of teeth and tongue. He released one of Dean’s wrists and brought his hand to the back of the hunter’s head, kissing him roughly. Dean surprised them both by using his now-free hand to curl around Cas’ waist, drawing the man in the last few centimetres so their bodies were pressed together. Cas released his other wrist and threw his arm around Dean’s shoulders as if trying to pull him even closer and Dean added his other arm to Cas’ waist, hooking his thumbs in to the belt loops on the back of his jeans and splaying his fingers down over the curve of the angel’s backside. 

 

Dean’s lips parted and he groaned into Cas’ mouth as they pressed together so Cas took the opportunity to pay him back for before, sliding his tongue gently into Dean’s mouth and exploring it curiously as Dean responded with enthusiasm. Dean wasn’t exactly sure when he had suddenly gone from playfully accepting of Cas’ chaste kiss to eagerly kissing him back but it just felt _right_ somehow. Cas broke the kiss suddenly and Dean bit back a whine of indignation before Cas’ lips were on him again, starting at the corner of his mouth and kissing down his jawline, stubble scratching against stubble. Dean tilted his head to give Cas better access and tightened his grip on the angel’s ass, rocking his hips forward so his rapidly hardening erection dug into Castiel and was rewarded with a sharp hiss from the other man against his throat. Cas pushed his fingers into Dean’s hair and pulled him in for another kiss and the hunter growled lustfully into his mouth as his grip tightened, pulling gently at the short hairs. 

 

This was too much for Dean and he pushed away from the wall; Cas was caught off guard and backed up until he hit the map table and stopped, unable to go any further. In one swift movement Dean’s strong arms had lifted him the few centimetres necessary to sit him on the table, never once breaking their kiss. Cas instinctively spread his legs and Dean stood between them allowing them to close behind him with Cas’ ankles hooked loosely behind his thighs, keeping him close. 

 

Eventually Dean broke away from Cas, panting, and mimicked the angel’s earlier motions by kissing down his jaw. He found the feeling of their stubble scratching together strangely arousing and stopped at one point to just rub his face on Cas’ like a cat before resuming his kisses until he reached his ear where he took the lobe between his teeth and nipped gently then continued kissing down Cas’ neck. When he reached the thick vein that pulsed from the angel’s neck, fluttering like a hummingbird’s wings as his heart raced, Dean stopped and ran the tip of his tongue along it eliciting a loud groan from Cas. He grinned and straightened up and looked at Cas who stared defiantly back at him. This was _not_ how this had been supposed to play out. 

 

Dean just stared back at Castiel with easy good humour. He had gained the upper hand and was pleased with himself, and he didn’t care that Cas knew it. Cas’ eyes smoldered as he returned the hunter’s gaze then a slow smile began to spread across his face. Dean’s expression faltered and he opened his mouth as if to speak but before the words could leave his lips there was a flurry of wings and he fell backwards onto his bed, the angel straddling him in an instant. Dean swore he saw the shadow of wings on the ceiling before his view was completely obscured by the man above him.

 

“Sorry, did you think it would be that easy?” Cas grinned, spreading his fingers wide across Dean’s chest and, though he didn’t feel particularly heavy, Dean realised that Cas was stronger than his vessel appeared because he couldn’t sit up even when he tried pushing with his elbows. 

 

“Alright Cas,” he began nervously and was surprised when he wasn’t cut off, “you’ve made your point,” he finished hurriedly, suddenly acutely aware that he was lying on his bed with _another man_. 

 

“No, I really haven’t,” Cas purred, his deep voice smooth as he looked down through his lashes at the immobile Dean. To demonstrate he rocked his hips forward, his jeans rubbing tight against Dean’s and the hunter couldn’t catch himself in time to keep from crying out in desire. He instinctively ran his hands up Cas’ legs to grip the man’s thighs tight as Cas leaned down and began to kiss his face and down his throat. 

 

“Ah, Cas, dammit,” Dean growled and Cas leaned up, fixing Dean with an intense look.

 

“Dean, if you want me to stop all you have to say is ‘stop’,” he instructed with absolute seriousness then resumed his kissing trail down Dean’s throat, lapping gently at his Adam’s apple and nipping at the skin at the base of his neck. 

 

Dean was torn between lust and impropriety. Part of him, the larger part he was reluctant to admit, wanted nothing more than for Cas to pin him down and fuck his brains out. But another part of him just felt that what he was doing was wrong, Cas was a man and he shouldn’t do things like this with another man… His head span as Castiel’s fingertips massaged his chest through his t-shirt and he absently wondered what had happened to his jacket - had Cas simply teleported him out of it? Could angels teleport people out of their clothing? He couldn’t stop the growl that escaped his throat as he considered the thought of exploring angel powers and sex. He felt Cas’ lips widen in a smile against his throat and one of the angel’s hands slid up his chest to pull the collar of his t-shirt aside to reveal more skin for Cas to kiss, lick and nip. 

 

“Cas,” Dean groaned as Cas grazed his teeth across his collarbone and arched his back, his hips thrusting upward into Cas who echoed his groan and tensed his other hand on Dean’s chest, forcing him to lie flat again. Dean’s hands were still free and he guessed Cas couldn’t hold him down everywhere at once so he ran his hands up over Cas’ ass again, drawing out another little moan of pleasure, and then up his back, slipping his fingers up under Cas’ shirt. He let his fingertips lightly explore the angel’s back, feeling him shiver as Dean drew his nails gently over the raised vertebrae. 

 

Cas rocked his hips in response, wanting to tease Dean further in retaliation for his sudden invasion that he couldn’t push away, and moved up to catch Dean’s lips in another desperate kiss. To his surprise Dean actually leaned up towards him and eagerly returned the kiss as if Cas were water and he were dying of thirst, his tongue darting into the angel’s mouth unbidden. Cas slid his hand down to push up Dean’s t-shirt and the human gasped into his mouth as his fingertips first brushed the skin covering his hipbone and then drew gradually further up his body. Cas dragged the tips of his fingers gently over Dean’s ribs and he wriggled a little at the tickling sensation before jerking his head back to gasp as Cas ran his thumb over a nipple and felt the skin pucker in response. 

 

Curious about this reaction, Cas shifted his weight and ran his other hand up under Dean’s shirt until it was bunched under his armpits and then frowned in consternation. Dean obligingly leaned forward and allowed the angel to pull his t-shirt off, tossing it aside flippantly as he looked down on the hunter’s bare torso. Leaning down he gently ran his tongue around the dark areola and was rewarded with a guttural moan. Cas hummed his own pleasure at the reaction and at Dean’s fingertips sliding further up his back again. 

 

Dean couldn’t allow Cas to have the upper hand for long, he had already been more patient with the angel’s explorations than with any woman he’d been with before. Reaching the top of Castiel’s back he quickly curled his fingers and ran his nails hard down Cas’ back on either side of his spine causing the man to cry out in pleasure and jerk up into a sitting position, his body bowing and his hips curling upward to rub against Dean’s hardness beneath him.

 

“I am an angel of the lord,” Castiel hissed, pulling Dean’s hands off him and pinning them above his head, leaning down until there was barely an inch between them, “you should show me some _respect_.”

 

Dean grinned back cheekily, recalling the last time Cas had spoken those words in a far more menacing tone. Cas covered Dean’s mouth with his own and kissed him hard, rocking his hips gently and causing both men to moan into the kiss. 

 

“I respect the shit out of you, Cas,” Dean said hoarsely when they broke the kiss and the blue-eyed angel smiled, “but you’re a damn cock tease you know that?” 

 

“ _That_ ’s the point, Dean,” he answered, shifting his weight so he could pin both of Dean’s wrists with one of his hands and use the other to grip his hair tightly enough to sting but not enough to cause real pain. Dean moaned as Cas pulled his head to one side and began kissing and licking down his throat starting from his earlobe and working his way down. Now and then he stopped and Dean cried out as he felt the sharp pain as Cas marked him, leaving a little trail of hickeys in his wake. Cas kissed him down as far as he could stretch, tracing Dean’s anti-possession tattoo curiously with the tip of his tongue, and then continued with his fingertips, gently caressing Dean’s chest, tweaking his nipple, running his nails along his ribs while Dean writhed underneath him, gasping and murmuring Cas’ name desperately. 

 

It was too much for Dean, his cock strained painfully in his jeans and every time Cas shifted his weight he could feel the friction between them both increasing. He could see Cas was just as hard but the angel seemed more able to control himself, or at least was less susceptible to the pain. Cas shifted off to one side, his hand sliding down Dean’s body and ghosting over his hipbones, just visible above the waistband of his pants. Sliding his fingers just a centimetre into the top of Dean’s jeans elicited a breathy cry from the hunter and Cas smiled again, running his fingers back and forth across the hunter’s belly trying to make that noise return. 

 

“Aw, Cas, c’mon,” Dean groaned and Castiel withdrew his fingers, sliding his hand further down until it came to rest on the man’s thigh. He squeezed gently and Dean bucked a little, stilling when the pressure ceased. Cas slid his thumb down to Dean’s in-seam and began to wriggle his fingers upwards until he felt his thumb come into contact with the crotch of Dean’s pants. Dean cried out at the whisper of sensation that touched the base of his balls and then again as the hand slid up again, bypassing his crotch completely.

 

“Seriously?!” He couldn’t keep the incredulity from his voice. 

 

“I told you, Dean, teasing _is_ the point,” he leaned down and kissed Dean again but the man had had enough and clamped his mouth shut obstinately. “What do you want, Dean? I said you only had to say ‘stop’ for me to cease my actions, you only have to ask if you prefer something else,” Castiel’s tone was light, suggestive. Dean’s eyes rolled back in his head as he tried to think of the least gay way to phrase what he wanted, what he _needed._  

 

In the meantime Cas continued his teasing caresses of Dean’s body, licking and kissing and biting anywhere he could reach and using his free hand to draw feather-light touches anywhere else. Dean was half out of his mind with the torment, unable to formulate coherent thoughts much further than ‘fuck’ and ‘Cas’. 

 

“I want you,” he managed to gasp out and Cas hummed against his skin. 

 

“Want me to what, Dean?” He asked imperiously, not leaning or looking up at Dean as he thrashed underneath the angel. 

 

“To t-touch me,” Dean gritted his teeth as Cas swirled his tongue around his nipple again and then lapped at it. Dean knew the move well, he had done it to plenty of chicks in his life but he never realised how damn _arousing_ that was. 

 

“But I am touching you, Dean,” Cas retorted and the way he kept repeating Dean’s name drove him wild, something about the rough, deep voice striking at his core and making him boil. 

 

“Dammit Cas you know what I mean,” he groaned and writhed again, desperate for the friction between their hardness that Cas had taken from him. 

 

“I don’t think that I do, Dean, I think that you need to be very, _very_ specific.” Cas ran his fingers gently over Dean’s exposed ribs, fingertips lightly tracing the Enochian sigil he had carved into them so long ago as he kissed his way back up Dean’s sternum then licked from the hollow at the base of his neck up his throat to his chin where he left the whisper of a kiss. Finally he drew back so he could look at Dean who glared up at him angrily. A smile played about his lips, he was enjoying the hunter’s discomfort even though he shared it but he wasn’t going to let on that he desperately wanted to drop the façade of self-control and just throw himself at Dean. 

 

“Fine,” Dean growled through gritted teeth, “touch my cock already you friggin’ tease.” His face flushed at the admission that he wanted this _man_ to touch him but Castiel looked thrilled and laid a gentle hand on Dean’s bulge, twitching his fingers a couple of times as Dean cried out loudly at the sudden, welcome touch. “ _Fuck_ Cas,” he snarled, arching up into Cas’ hand and tilting his hips so the angel’s palm rubbed against him, making his eyelids flutter in pleasure. Cas took a moment to enjoy Dean’s discomfort and the way his blush highlighted the smattering of freckles across his nose before rubbing back against him more firmly.

 

“I said you only had to ask,” Cas said calmly, pushing Dean gently back into the bed and running his hand up the hunter’s jeans, deftly opening the button and pulling down the zip one-handed, his other still pinning Dean’s wrists to the bed, and slipping his hand inside to palm Dean through his boxers. The soft fabric was already soaked with pre-come and Dean groaned, louder this time, and writhed on the bed under Castiel’s calm, almost clinical touch. The angel ran his hand down to curl his fingers around Dean’s balls, squeezing them very gently and rubbing his thumb over the thick vein that popped out of the back of Dean’s member, being rewarded with another gasp from the human. “I’m going to release your hands for a moment, Dean, but I don’t want you to move them, do you understand?” 

 

Dean’s head was thrown back and he grunted his assent and then frustration as Cas’ hands moved to his hips with surprising speed and quickly pulled his jeans off, lifting him bodily where necessary and Dean was once again reminded of the strength of the angel. Somehow Cas managed to remove the offending clothing without also yanking off Dean’s boxers, a difficult feat in both self-control and the tightness of the pants, and then his hand was back on Dean’s obedient wrists with the other gently massaging his dick. Dean thrust upwards with his hips, trying to increase the friction and touch of the angel but cried out in frustration as Cas removed his hand and pressed his hip to push him down to the bed again. 

 

“Castiel,” Dean gasped, “wait, you gotta,” he couldn’t think straight, the angel had driven him into a frenzy. “ _Do_ something, Cas,” Dean begged, hating how helpless he sounded but unable to bring himself to care. 

 

Cas’ eyes cast around the room, looking at the various weapons and hunter memorabilia Dean had decorated with until his gaze lit on something familiar and he grinned. With a flurry of movement and the audible flap of feathers Dean found himself suddenly bereft of all sensation as Cas crossed the room and back again, hand returning to his wrist and something heavy and chilly resting on his chest. Dean looked down and saw the jar of holy oil, his eyes widening as he wondered exactly what Cas had planned to do with _that._

 

“Dean, I’m going to release your hands now,” he said, meeting the hunter’s gaze carefully before leaning down to kiss him again because _wow_ if Dean didn’t look ridiculously gorgeous with such a helpless, needy expression on his face. Cas had seen Dean in various states of emotion before but never had he seen him laid bare like this, his pupils blown wide with arousal and pure, basic _trust_ that his angel wasn’t going to hurt him. Cas hated that he was going to betray that trust almost as much as he loved that the trust was there for him to betray, and a sly smile played about his lips as he broke the kiss and leaned up, releasing Dean’s hands as promised. 

 

Dean surged forward, almost knocking the jar of oil over in his haste and wrapped Cas in his arms. Cas swiftly pulled the jar aside and placed it on the floor as Dean kissed him hungrily, running his hands up underneath Castiel’s button down shirt and caressing the skin underneath. Cas swung his leg over Dean again and pulled the hunter’s shoulders so they were both sitting up, settling himself between Dean’s legs with his either side of Dean’s body. Dean ran his hands over Cas’ back, feeling the muscles shifting under the angel’s skin then trailing them around to the front and up the angel’s chest, flicking his fingertips lightly over Cas’ nipples and tracing the Enochian tattoo his vessel still bore. 

 

Cas allowed Dean some time to explore his body, knowing that this, at least, was as new to Dean as it was to him. Dean pulled away, concentrating on fumbling with the buttons on the linen shirt Castiel wore while Cas tipped his head back and panted at the ceiling, curling his legs around the hunter to bring them closer together and tilting his hips so his jeans rubbed on Dean’s swollen cock teasingly. Dean gasped and ripped the shirt apart, buttons flying off in every direction, then his lips were on Cas’ chest and he was kissing hungrily, tongue darting out at times to taste the other man’s skin. After a few moments of Cas whimpering at each caress Dean pulled back and looked up at the angel, who gazed back at him lovingly. 

 

“Cas,” Dean started to say but Castiel silenced him with another kiss, understanding that Dean was starting to question their actions and wanting to bring him back into the heat of the moment. There would be plenty of time to dwell on that later. Dean melted into him with a sigh, content to just enjoy their lust for now and pushing away the doubts to the very back of his mind.

 

Once Dean was nice and pliable again Cas pulled back and disentangled himself, sliding down Dean’s boxers with one fluid movement and discarding his now-ruined shirt in another. Picking up the jar of holy oil he tilted it, drizzling the liquid over Dean’s erection and caressing him with his other hand. Dean’s body arched again as Castiel touched him and he trembled in anticipation, though the angel’s hand never closed around his length nor made any move to bring him to his release. When he felt the hunter was suitably slick Cas set aside the jar - not too far away, he’d be needing that again later - and looked at Dean with an almost malicious smile. 

 

Dean screamed as Cas moved with lightning quickness and jammed two fingers up his ass, red hot pain exploding and every muscle in his body tightened in objection. When the wave of agony passed and he was able to reopen his eyes he glared at Cas with such fury that for a second the angel wasn’t sure he’d made the right decision. Then, with his other hand, he caressed the hunter’s body, making gentle soothing noises and Dean began to relax as Castiel’s healing powers washed through him, loosening all his muscles and taking away all his aches and pains, including the ones in his uncomfortably invaded ass. When Dean was relaxed again, though still angry, Cas smiled at him. 

 

“I am sorry, Dean, but I wanted you to understand your… position, should you send me away again,” his eyes twinkled mischievously and Dean couldn’t help but bark a laugh. 

 

“You’re one sadistic son of a bitch, Cas,” he grumbled but there was no heat behind his words. Castiel’s soothing healing had drawn all the malice out of him and now that he wasn’t in pain it actually felt… quite nice. 

 

Cas began to move his fingers gently, pushing his healing abilities in through the tips any time he sensed Dean might feel pain. At first Dean frowned, the odd fullness an alien sensation he couldn’t decide if he liked or not. Then Cas curled a finger as he pushed it in slightly deeper and grazed his prostate and Dean gasped as his cock twitched violently in response. Cas’ eyes widened too, he hadn’t expected that reaction, and he curled the finger again, his mouth jerking up in a smile as he got the same result, this time with a guttural moan from the hunter. 

 

“ _Shit,_ Cas,” Dean groaned as Cas moved his fingers inside him and that was it for the angel. Pulling out of Dean he leaned down and kissed him deeply. Dean tangled his fingers in Cas’ hair and held him tight, kissing him fit to burst while Cas fumbled with his own jeans while trying to maintain lip to lip contact. He managed to yank off his pants with only a little trouble and then almost tore his boxers as he leapt out of them. 

 

In an instant they were pressed together again, skin against skin and wrapped in each others arms. It was an unusual sensation for both of them, flat chest flush against flat chest but when Cas rocked his hips against Dean’s slick erection, sliding their cocks together, all cares and concerns vanished. Dean groaned and slid his hand down between them, fumbling clumsily to press them together as they rubbed and moaned, alternating between kissing passionately and gasping for air. 

 

It didn’t take long for Dean to feel his orgasm building, though it was strange to be pressing up against another guy this was _Cas_ and somehow he just didn’t care. They licked and nipped and _thrust_ together, their bodies understanding even if their minds could not exactly what they needed. 

 

“ _Dean,_ ” Cas growled into the hunter’s ear, pushing him backwards again and taking them both into his hand. Dean took a moment to appreciate Cas and was surprised that the angel’s skin was more tanned than his own. In his mind he always thought of Cas as this pale, slightly weak, confused creature but here in front of him was _a warrior of God._ All wiry muscle and golden skin, his head tipped back in ecstasy as he caressed Dean’s body and held their slick members together, pumping in a perfect rhythm. Dean had never really taken the time to truly look at his angel but he vowed when this was over he would rectify that.

 

“G-“ Dean was about to say God but managed to bite back the blasphemy just in time; he wasn’t sure how Cas would take having his Father’s name cried out in the heat of their passion. He settled instead for “ _dammit,_ ” and his hips bucked up as if they had a mind of their own. “Cas I’m getting close,” he growled, hands flying to Castiel’s hips as the angel bent over him and kissed him deeply, thrusting his hips and jerking them both with one hand, the other holding his weight above Dean’s body.

 

“Me… too…” he gasped, breaking free of the kiss and crying out as Dean’s fingers dug in to his skin, amazed they had both lasted this long. Cas broke first, crying out with an utterly inhuman noise as he spilled his seed on Dean’s stomach. As he came he shouted “Dean!” and the hunter followed soon after, his body responding instinctively to the angel’s passionate cry. 

 

When they were both spent Cas collapsed on the bed beside Dean, obviously not wanting to squish the mess they had made between their bodies. They lay there panting for a while, Dean acutely aware of the come drying on his stomach but too satisfied and spent to care. Eventually Cas shifted and grabbed the first piece of clothing he could reach - his ruined button-down - and tossed it at Dean for cleanup. He figured he would have to borrow some clothing anyway. 

 

Once Dean had mopped himself up he lay back, glad of the bunker’s amiable temperature so they could lie on top of the covers comfortably without the awkwardness of climbing into the bed. He looked up at the ceiling and put his hands up behind his head, drifting sleepily and trying not to think about what he’d just done.

 

“Dean,” Cas said eventually, and that little _something_ inside Dean responded again to his name on the angel’s lips.

 

“Mm?” He murmured back, not quite trusting himself to speak yet.

 

“I’m sorry if that was not something you wished to experience,” Castiel said quietly and Dean sat up in alarm. Cas was lying on his side with his arms curled around himself tightly, as if afraid to touch Dean now their ardour had subsided, his face carefully schooled into a neutral expression.

 

Dean sat still for a moment, carefully choosing his response. It was true he had never thought he’d do anything like _this_ with another guy, but he also didn’t feel like it was particularly problematic either. Eventually he placed his hand on Castiel’s waist, his palm neatly slotting into the hollow as he leaned down and brushed his lips over the angel’s cheek. 

 

“I could say stop at any time,” he mumbled, his breath warm on Cas’ face, “and I would’ve if I didn’t want to. Relax, Cas,” he smiled as the other man twisted a little looking up at him with the same trust Dean had shown him earlier. Dean leaned down and kissed him softly on the lips and Castiel’s eyes fluttered closed as their breath mingled. This kiss was tender, not the fiery passionate kiss from earlier, born of lust and desperation. This was a lover’s kiss, gentle and soothing and drawing away all of the angel’s anxiety as swiftly as his healing touch had taken away Dean’s pain before. “But jam your fingers up my ass like that again and we’re gonna have words,” Dean chuckled when he broke the kiss.

 

“You are implying you would like a repeat of this evening, Dean?” Cas’ blue eyes sparked with interest and Dean grinned back.

 

“I’d be open to it, sure,” Dean shrugged and laughed self-consciously. 

 

“I love you, Dean” Castiel said and Dean met his gaze with surprise, Cas’s innocent honesty catching him completely off guard. 

 

“I… I love you too, Cas” he replied as his face flushed crimson then leaning in and giving Cas another of his soft, lover’s kisses.

 

Cas pulled back and rested his forehead against Dean’s, stroking the back of his neck soothingly as he felt the heat of Dean’s blush against his skin.

 

“I know.”


	2. Epilogue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> waitingfortheoncomingstorm and TheGirlOfThe221bInTheTARDIS left me lovely comments on the last chapter, and several lovely darlings did too on Tumblr, so I thought - what the heck, I'll write an epilogue ;) 
> 
> More of the same really, Dean struggles to come to terms with stuff or something? Plus dicks. *shrug* 
> 
> (yet another award winningly lame summary by Ehryn, woo! \o/)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I accidentally gave it away wayyyyyyyy before I was ready to post, bahhhh XD *stupid face is stupid*

Dean woke to light fingertips trailing across his hip and the scent of citrus and cut grass under his nose. He felt completely relaxed and lay there a while longer with his eyes closed so he could enjoy the exploration of his partner. He spread his hand out across the smooth skin of the body tucked underneath his arm, smiling as the fingers on his hip hesitated a moment before resuming their ticklish trail.

“Morning, baby,” he rumbled, leaning down to kiss the hair beneath his chin.

“Don’t call me baby, Dean,” Cas chuckled, tickling Dean playfully, “I’m not your car.”

Dean’s eyes flew open and he practically threw himself from the bed, unceremoniously dumping Cas on the floor on the other side, wrapped up in the blanket and looking bemused.

“Well after the ‘baby’ I suppose I should have anticipated that,” he said, picking himself up, “as I believe that is a primarily feminine affectation.”

To Dean’s relief Cas remained wrapped in the blanket and to his  _extra_  relief he discovered he had put his own underwear on before going to sleep. Memories of the previous night rushed through him and he felt his legs wobble but managed to remain standing – just.

“Cas...” he said weakly and the angel just smiled at him, the scratchy woollen blanket wrapped around himself like a toga. Castiel remained silent, wanting Dean to work through his thoughts on his own. It would take him a little time to adjust, even accept what had happened – but Cas intended to fight for it. His instincts screamed at him to fly, to take Dean’s shock as rejection and try to pretend nothing had happened, even alter the hunter’s memory to preserve their friendship. But his heart told him to wait, be patient, let the human think.

Dean’s mind raced, assaulting him with images of last night and his heart raced, too. His body went cold and he swallowed hard. Why wasn’t Cas saying anything? Why was he just  _standing_  there? Standing there... looking pretty cute actually, Dean had to admit. His hair stuck up all over the place in ways Dean could never have imagined. He’d been through  _Purgatory_  with Cas and had never seen him so... relaxed. He’d seen him filthy, unshaven, out of his mind, but never... morning-after dishevelled. He held the blanket around himself like a skirt that hung loosely from his hips unselfconsciously as if standing here in a serious state of undress in front of his best friend was the most normal, natural thing in the world.

“Cas,” Dean tried again and Cas tilted his head to one side in a curiously birdlike gesture to show he was listening. “Uh, look, about last night...” Dean hoped Cas would take over, tell him it was no big deal and they could just go back to normal but the angel didn’t speak, just looked at him intently. Damn, he wasn’t going to make this easy was he? Instead of speaking Cas tucked the blanket into itself and stretched in a languorous, catlike manner that made his ribs stick out and Dean’s head spin. Now he was being  _deliberately_  obtuse. “Castiel,” Dean continued, using the angel’s full name to get his attention and make him understand that this was serious. It didn’t quite have the effect he was hoping for, however, as when Cas met his eyes again his own were full of fire and a lazy smile played on his lips.

“You have my  _full_  attention, Dean,” the angel said seriously and Dean licked his lips nervously as heat pooled in his belly at the suggestion in Cas’ voice. Perhaps it would be better  _not_  to have the angel speaking right now.

“Look, uh, dude, I mean... the thing is...” he rubbed the back of his neck and tried to think of what to say next. Dean had never been particularly good with words, not ones that required emotional investment anyway, and after... 

"Dean," Cas said, walking around the bed and stopping a few feet from the hunter, who turned as he moved and backed up a little bit. Cas frowned at that and immediately stopped advancing. "I'm not going to back you into a wall again, Dean."

And  _boy_  did that bring the memories flooding back of him curling his arms around the angel and pulling him close, feeling his hard muscles and the soft curve of his... Dean's eyes rolled back in his head before he could even catch himself, though he tensed again within seconds. But Cas knew he had him, that Dean would find a way to rationalise this situation to himself in any way he could if only for the change to be pressed against a wall again by Cas. 

Dean stood stiffly and looked increasingly uncomfortable but Cas just patiently stood by and waited for him to speak again. They stood motionless for a while then suddenly as if someone had let the air out of him Dean sagged, his head dropping to his chest and his shoulders drooping. 

Cas flew forward, just barely hanging on to the blanket around his waist as he gathered the defeated Dean in his arms. Dean rested his head on Castiel's shoulder and let the angel hold him, their bare chests pressed together and he didn't even  _care_. Cas was a guy, but so what? Hadn't he sacrificed enough? Hadn't he  _lost_ enough? Didn't he deserve to be happy for one  _goddamn_ minute. If that meant reevaluating his sexual preferences... well he'd have to just suck it up and do that. Eventually he raised his own hands and placed them gently, tentatively on Cas' hips, thumbs gently brushing the skin just above the blanket. Cas smiled and kissed his bare shoulder gently then brushed his face against Dean's skin, savoring the surprising softness. 

Dean pulled back a little and Cas looked up at him, a barely perceptible look of alarm flashing in his eyes but as his gaze locked with Dean the hunter took a deep breath, leaned forward and kissed him. It was soft, gentle, more a brushing of lips than a kiss. He pulled back looking intently at Cas' collarbone as if it was the most interesting thing he had ever seen then, as if he had needed that moment to pluck up courage, curled his arms around the angel's waist to pull him tight and kissed him again.

This kiss was as different from the first as Cas thought it was possible to get, all fire and passion and Dean's tongue licking the roof of his mouth. Cas kissed back with equal fervor, content to let Dean hold the reigns this time - for now. Dean slid his hands up Castiel's back and into his hair, tangling his fingers in the messy strands and pulling his head back, breaking the kiss and drawing a deep, guttural moan from the angel. He kissed roughly down Cas' jawline and to his throat, nipping and sucking in mirror to how Cas had treated him the night before. When he reached the hollow where Cas' throat met his collarbone Dean sucked hard and Cas  _growled_ , pulling Dean close and pushing his raging erection into Dean's hip, pleased to feel the hunter's length equally hard against his own body. 

"See what you do to me, Dean," Cas said and Dean bit his shoulder hard, the rough deep voice saying his name igniting something feral inside him. 

Cas twisted and sat down heavily on the bed, drawing Dean down with him. He didn't want to repeat last night's fight for control, that wouldn't help Dean at all. Instead he settled Dean beside him, letting the man hover over him, pressing kisses anywhere within reach and kissing him back tenderly whenever Dean came close enough. 

Dean explored Cas in a way he hadn't been able to before; running his fingertips over his hard chest, gulping slightly at the noticeable absence of breasts, and pressing gentle kisses to the angels skin. Every touch, every caress seemed to drive Cas wild and before long the man was panting with barely-controlled lust, arching into his kisses and moaning loudly as if containing his pleasure would cause him physical pain. Dean rested his head on Cas' chest and Cas stroked his hair gently as the hunter struggled to regain control of himself, his hands finding Cas' hips as if they had a mind of their own.

Even though Dean had stopped kissing his thumbs pressed hard into the soft skin on the inner side of Castiel's hipbones and he grinned as Cas' body bowed upwards and he cried out. Making _anyone_ feel pleasure was a thrill but knowing the stoic, impassive angel was coming undone under his ministrations made Dean feel positively _godlike_. He dragged his tongue down Cas' chest and he all but screamed, making Dean beam from ear to ear and repeat the motion and this time Cas  _did_ scream. 

This was so different from what Cas had expected; last night's experience had not prepared him fully for the effect of no longer being in control. Yesterday he had been able to largely ignore the sensations he was feeling in favour of focussing on Dean's enjoyment but this was impossible to ignore. It felt like his skin was on fire, in all the centuries he had lived Castiel had never felt anything like it. _  
_

"Dean," he groaned as Dean kissed down his body, thumbs swiping over his hipbones and sending lightning bolts of arousal directly to his groin as if Dean's fingertips had a hotline to his dick.

"I know," Dean mumbled into Cas' stomach, his hands sliding down to pull away the blanket and then further still to run down to Cas' thighs. He squeezed them gently and kissed the skin just above the neat line where his pubic hair began. Cas cried out again and bucked up, this was  _nothing_ like he had expected. Dean grinned and slid his hand up, curling his finger and thumb around the base of Cas' erection and squeezing gently. Cas roared and Dean just looked up at him, grinning like a cheshire cat. 

Castiel knew he had to do something about Dean, this had gone on quite long enough so he looked down at Dean and poured all his feelings, all his heart into his voice. "I love you," he said clearly, locking eyes with Dean and watching with satisfaction as the hunter went from cocky to confused in seconds. Cas used the momentary falter to flip Dean on his back, neatly trading places with him and sitting astride him with their bodies slotted together. 

Cas leaned down covering Dean's body with his own and kissed his neck, rocking his hips gently as he felt Dean's boxers dampen with their combined arousal. 

"Fuck, Cas, that's not fair," Dean complained, swallowing thickly and stifling a moan as Cas trailed his hot, damp tongue across his jawline.

"I was only being honest," Cas smiled, pressing his lips to Dean's softly, mimicking their tender kisses of the night before. 

Somehow these soft, gentle kisses were hotter than the passionate ones, Dean thought. Something about Cas kissing him as if he were the most important thing in the world was hotter than Cas licking his breath from his body. Their breath mingled in panted gasps as Cas poured every tiny bit of love from the last five years into his kisses, wishing he could transmit the true depth of his love for the hunter through his skin. Dean tangled his fingers in Castiel's hair gently, massaging the man's scalp and making him moan again at the tender touch. 

"Fuck, C-Cas," Dean gasped as he surfaced for air, rocking his hips and rutting against the angel who gasped and thrust back instinctively. Dean shuffled backwards and Cas was forced to lift himself up for a moment as Dean pulled his boxers off with one swift movement then twisted and began to scrabble in the drawer in his nightstand. Cas waited, curious as to what Dean was doing, then his eyes widened as Dean came up with a bottle of lube. 

"That would probably have been useful last night," he remarked, tilting his head to one side as Dean looked at him incredulously. 

"Well yeah, if you'd given me half a sec to think I'd have told you that then," he shot back, tossing the bottle at Cas who caught it one-handed. "Remember, no jamming two fingers up there without warning," Dean mumbled, dropping back on the bed and throwing his arm up over his face to hide the blush that crept up on him. He couldn't believe he was actually  _suggesting_ this, instead of just enjoying it happening to him. 

Cas wasted no time in drizzling the thick gel over Dean then palming his aching cock lovingly. He covered his fingers with it liberally too and then gently probed at Dean's opening, giving the hunter time to adjust and relax before trying anything more. He poured his healing power through Dean, wanting to make sure he felt only pleasure and joy. There would be time for him to do this without using his grace to help things along, but right now Dean was barely able to accept his feelings for Cas without having pain - more pain, Cas had to admit - putting him off, so he focussed on making this the most enjoyable experience he could. 

Within moments Dean was mewling helplessly as Cas gently probed, adding another finger when Dean seemed to be getting relaxed enough. Recalling the reaction he got the night before he carefully curled his fingers and was rewarded by a screaming moan as he brushed Dean's prostate.

"Shit, Cas, fuck me,  _now,_ " Dean ordered and Cas needed little more instruction than that, knowing he could easily ensure Dean was caused no injury. Pouring lube all over himself - probably a little too much, he realised belatedly - he lined himself up with Dean's opening and looked into the hunter's eyes.

"Are you sure you're ready?" He asked, concerned Dean was forcing himself to move too fast.

"I swear Cas if you don't fuck me now I'll go crazy," Dean gasped back, writhing underneath him. 

Gently Cas pressed into Dean, moving slowly but deliberately until he was almost fully inside then stopping, letting Dean grow accustomed to the new sensations. Dean groaned and bucked his hips in frustration.

"Next time we're doing the fucking cow...boy or whatever so I can be in charge," Dean snarled and Cas smiled at Dean's admission there would be a next time, "will you  _move_ already!" 

Ever obedient Cas did as he was told and was rewarded with Dean's blissed-out expression as the unfamiliar sensation melted into pure, unadulterated pleasure. He couldn't believe anything could feel this incredible and he had to clench his teeth to keep from either coming too fast or just letting loose with poor Dean's body. Cas was acutely aware that he really  _could_ split Dean in half if he lost control. 

"Fuck, Cas, I'm not made of glass you can speed it up you know," Dean groaned after a while and Cas obliged, sweat breaking out on his head as he pushed deeply into Dean and the man cried out as he brushed his prostate. "Shit Cas, right there," he gasped and Cas' control slipped.

He thrust hard into Dean, who let out a strangled cry that sounded nothing like pain and dug his nails into Cas' shoulders. This only inflamed him further and he thrust again, faster, gripping Dean's hips desperately. Dean mewled soundlessly before dissolving into a string of blissful profanities and Cas' name over and over and over. 

Cas couldn't help it, the sound of his name being screamed was too much to bear and he leaned down to kiss Dean's chest as he thrust. The angle changed and he hit Dean's prostate squarely for the first time and Dean couldn't hold back any longer.

" _Castiel!_ " Dean shrieked as he came, sticky strings of come pooling on his stomach. The sound of his full name proved to be Cas' undoing as well and he came with a shout, thrusting hard into Dean as his body bowed and his orgasm exploded like a supernova behind his eyes.  _  
_

Cas knelt on the bed panting, unwilling to pull away from the connection he had with Dean but knowing he would need to soon. His body and brain seemed to be arguing over what to do, however, so he simply sat there limply and gasped for breath.

"Well that was..." Dean laughed after a few minutes, "fucking  _amazing._ " 

"I'm glad you found it enjoyable too," Cas rumbled in agreement, finally listening to his aching knees and pulling out of Dean, dropping on his front to the bed beside him. Leaning over he graced Dean with another of his tender kisses and they smiled at each other shyly. 

Just to completely ruin the moment Dean's stomach rumbled loudly and they both dissolved into laughter. Cas got up and threw Dean the box of tissues from his desk and stretched, collecting his mostly ruined clothing from various placed on the floor while his lover cleaned up enough to dress himself. 

"Time for breakfast," Dean grinned and Cas kissed him gently one last time.

"I'd rather have you," he rumbled, kissing Dean lightly on the shoulder.

"Next time, love," Dean kissed his forehead fondly and sauntered out of the room. Cas watched him go as his heart flipped in his chest then, with a final look around the messy room and a tiny, happy sigh, flicked off the light and followed his human to the bathroom... and the  _shower_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tumble with me (oh bby) on Tumblr! faeryn.tumblr.com
> 
> If you think the actual sex scene was a bit rushed... like the ending of the previous chapter, it was! I find penetrative sex really hard to write (it's pretty boring tbh let's be honest) so I always end up doing the foreplay and then like "then they fucked, THE END" ahahaha so, so so sorry. It's also hard not to just repeat what tons of way better writers have already written so... yeah. I'll try to work harder next time, I promise x3

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry if the end seems a bit rushed, it was! I wrote this over the course of several days and so if it's repetitive in parts that's because my vocabulary failed me, I've tried to go through it and edit as much as I can so it's not horrible... 
> 
> If you like you can follow me on Tumblr! On my [main blog](http://faeryn.tumblr.com) or my [very quiet writing sideblog.](http://faerynfics.tumblr.com)
> 
> There was so much more I wanted to put in these notes *sob* My computer crashed and lost it all, I'm sorry for my failure.


End file.
